Here I am looking down at this paper trying to make it major/Trying to tell my story to gain some glory/All of these faggots second guessing me on mu legacy/All these faggots trying to get the best of me so they mess with me/All these people lecture me and they care for me/They told me I could make it happen and I took it for granite/When I first started rappin’ I was just standin’/In the middle of the ocean trying to be my own ship captain/Then shit happened, I got no guidance/And nothing to do but start writing/Then outta the blue my first mic check/ Just me recording sitting on Tony’s bed/Writing down anything and everything that came to my head/Then my first song, my first jam, all about some girl that “I Wished” I had/Then with my second rap I “Bounced” back, and I still remember when I wrote that/I was mad, pissed at my dad I wrote down some shit that I wished that I hadn’t/ I called a gay kid a faggot and this all goes back to when I just a lad and I didn’t understand/How my parents where drunkies and drugies/ Always drinking “Jack” and smoking ‘Weed” and now I’d like to say that “I’m Sorry” for the way I acted/I was ratchet, when I found all this shit out I over-reacted/I ask “God” why that, I was so dramatic, I was noxious/Packing boxes moving to different houses same couches/ Somehow same scenery, bumping rock music cuz that what I had Chosen or Chosen/ As I got older I found rap as a corrector a nectar/Ironically keeping me out the streets a director a mentor/For all the bad times I was finding Shady had some sick rhymes/And a sick mind that I too would gain over time/I was always nervous and iffy and I quickly/Drew a crowd that always wanted to hit me and kick me while I tried to flee/Then everything turned into a lie to me/Saying “Fuck You” to anybody that didn’t wanna be nice to me/Fuck the band teacher I aint wanna pass, not If I gotta play this shitty ass instrument/Its lips to ass do I really need to paint you a fucking picture of that you sycophant/Fuck you and your white picket fence, your nice life/With your nice wife who never need fight, not in front of the child it might frightened/10 years of this school life and I aint enlightened/All those teachers I aint need y’all “Coach Borden, Coach Castle, Coach Hoyle”/I learned all the shit I need through the turmoil the term royal/Has always seemed fitting that’s whole reason for the shit I be spitting/I’m just kidding I just wanna do this to prove this/I can make something of myself no matter what I’m doing/Alright now sit down and think about if you say mommy and grandpa smoking dope in the kitchen/While daddy’s bitchin’ even though he’s the biggest hypocrites in your life/But you don’t understand none of this yet you’re just so innocent/Now you’re 13 bitchin’ to your friends that you finna end this shit/High as fuck with a bottle of pills you found in the back of a truck/Finna toss some in your mouth and swallow then you wake up crying tomorrow/ Texting this girl about your problems because she’s the one who cares/And you open yourself bear and share, spilling all of your secrets/Your deepest darkest that you usually keep in but you somehow gotta peep them/Shit someone’s gotta see them, then you end the conversation and tell her you love her/She texts back the same but you know she don’t feel the same you still love her/Then one night you get drunk and tell her fuck her, text her back and apologize/She wants you to stop doing but you give excuses why you wanna get high/ Tell her how your family struggling trying to get by and you feel bad what you doing’/Because she’s beautiful popular and cool you still don’t know why she talking to you/Listening to all the bull shit that you pull she still says “I Love You”/I hope she remembers me I could never pay you back for what you gave to me/The want to live and for me it’s so sad to see that this is my reality/

Aint no girl trying to get with someone like me nah they say I’m ugly/They don’t even wanna touch me let alone fuck me bit it’s all good/Or at least that’s how it should be good clean fun/No use for guns not in the sum I’m not the one I’m done/With bitches who don’t know what they want/Man I swear I won’t fall in love with a girl like that again/They just stains in my brain driving me insane they claim/They love me, that’s what they all say but in the end they all the same/They all treat this shit like it’s some sort of game but it aint/I swear to god I’m through with bitches like you/Cuz all you do is lie, cheat, and steal my heart and leave me to bleed/Do you even got a clue when you pull, shit like that/It effects the way I act that’s a fact and you can hear it when I rap/I talk about your crap and I fell right into your trap/After where done I dress in all black you pimped smack/Me into another man the other me in the mirror/And it’s getting clearer to me quicker than this whicker/Candle grows dimmer that the glimmer of your glitter is making me sicker than ever/ Aint not girl trying to get with someone like me/It don’t matter if I’m looking for “Someone Like You”/Aint no girl trying to get with a guy a like me/Don’t even try to deny cuz you know that it’s true/ I don’t wanna fall back into a point of no return/Drugs are not worth the hurt that was known as my rebirth/It was great I evolved into a deeper person not weaker/ Than before I always wanted more, and more, and more/I was at war with myself I hated emotion it was crazy/I was so fucking lazy now most of that time it’s hazy maybe/Getting faded degraded my credibility/Who’s to say I’m not the same I sure as hell cant/I don’t even know who I really am god damn man/I’m alone where I stand and it’s where I’ve stood my whole life/Aint had nobody my my side and I always abide by the rules and I’m always set aside/Maybe that why when my good and bad collide it’s one hell of a ride/In my mind and outside but who am I know that they both seem to have died/ Am I good or bad or just sad and am held up by pillars of sand/I ran with the wrong people my times feeble excuse me/Rising quickly while I’m sitting bitching bout’ bitches/And who I used to be can’t you see that I’m not/Who I used to be I’m different/ Aint not girl trying to get with someone like me/It don’t matter if I’m looking for “Someone Like You”/Aint no girl trying to get with a guy a like me/Don’t even try to deny cuz you know that it’s true/ I can tell when shit’s about to go down and right now/I hear the sound of a crown falling to the ground/And it seems like it has found me with a frown/Fuck I can feel it now my old demon is around/

Goddamn why does this shit always happen/Goddamn why am I still rapping/Because of all the shit you do to me I’m permanently finna fill the sheet/ I’m lost in these Facebook statuses too much of this has turned me in to a catalyst/I’ll come home and take a sit on my bed/And take a hit straight to my head I wish that I was dead/This 9th grade shit is fucking me up now I’m and Evil Pudding Cup/Because I’m in love, but I can’t decide between her and these drugs/Because they both make me feel sublime all of the time/Why is this shit so hard to decide is this really my life,/Imma go downstairs and fill up my cup I hope that nobody knows wasup/Because I’m doing this shit every night these “Endless Nights”/Thinking one time I might just, overdose and die / Close my eyes and wait for these pills to spill over/All this will be over no more of this loner stoner/And then she couldn’t be mad at me because I wouldn’t be/I’m sure I’d be easily forgotten or is it forgotten/Hell I should do it now I don’t know what’s stoppen me, am I too much of a pussy/If I can’t fucking do it what good could I be, I’m yelling/ Goddamn why does this shit always happen/Goddamn why am I still rapping/Because of all the shit you do to me I’m permanently finna fill the sheet/ All these tweets be fucking with me this aint what I’m coming to see/It’s not just fucking with my confidence it’s fucking with the/Way I be drugging still now I can’t believe I turned back/To the green nuggets up in a plastic bag but it’s not just that/It’s the fact that I’ve evolved past that, I can barely rap/Man what the fuck am I, why the fuck should I, even try/I’ve done lost everything I love, in my life I’ve done it so much I can’t even cry/I don’t even fight what’s the point I always come up short like “Kat Williams”/I too pussy for these problems I can’t deal with the, listening to Drake cuz I’m feeling him/“Over My Dead Body” is the shit I can’t pretend to vent up in this I need a kiss/Shit, I’m doing streaks and why the hell not aint nobody looking up to me/I’m just fucking depressed so I fill up my chest and I’m snorting the rest/Fuck yeah I got no problems now, I’m not tolerating now/Because I hate my life why the fuck should you love yours/So I’m doing damage to the floors the wall and the doors/Throwing the fucking remote at the TV Screen I’m tired of seeing me/My reflection is pissing me off I got this 9 in my drawer/But I’m to pussy to let the body hit the floor/ Goddamn why does this shit always happen/Goddamn why am I still rapping/Because of all the shit you do to me I’m permanently finna fill the sheet/

You really think this bitch like you/You really think she would talk to you/Get close to you/Hold hands and walk with you/Get the fuck out of here with that/Got no stacks can’t even afford Chaps. Broke ass/(Stop That)/What, telling the truth/ You and money separate like the gap in Tony’s tooth/Fuck doing what you ask me to do/Lose this chick/This bitch don’t give 2 shits about you, or the pain in your heart/You’re nowhere on her chart/Of guys she would fuck/You’re sadly out of luck here/You aint gonna get your dick sucked queer/Be weary of this trick/She aint worthy of this dick/Quit it all/Let her fall/Hit the wall/Keep going man, You ball/Just trust me once/And let me be your voice of reason/Just let me be your voice of reason/Just once/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/Nah/ I just smoked it all/In the stall/of this Hallway/Feels like I’ve been here all day/Fuck forgiving this tramp/I’m bout’ to go after her bitch ass/This Mary’s giving me balls man/I’m pretty faded I hope I don’t get lost man/Cuz all those lines I did earlier keep me up/Feel like I need to puke in a bucket of Chum/And why the fuck I got a gun/Whatever it’s time to go/To this dance flo’/And let this one girl know/How I really feel/Let me just pack this steel/Incase shit gets real/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/Nah/ No trust no love so what I give no fucks except one/It’s no fun with no one when there is never no sun/Shit I still got one gun one blunt rolled up and one cup/Filled to the rim with rum, and coke dressed like a roman hoe/Because I’m lazy so, I’m just joe blow with nobody on my dick so/No need for “No Homo” I just wasn’t nothing to do with this shit no’ mo’/I’d rather die alone and turn to stone then look at how I’ve grown/Who I have become how many times I cummed with the help of my own hands/Just lock me in bars of bronze filled with golden sands/Suffocation it’s no different than where I am right now/I always fall down hit the water and then drown/Whenever she’s around just the sound of her footsteps gets me aroused/No time to browse the crowd I must find her before she’s found/But it’s too late she already closed the gate she has already fallen for somebody else’s bate/For him the man I hate there aint nothing to do now I don’t care/How long can I stick around fuck the pound…ing of the beat from these speaks/I’ll take a pound do a couple of streaks because there is no re…son/For all of this fuck that bitch was my number one/On top of the totem pole raised high above the rest of these hoes/But you know as the story goes, guys like me will never win/When it comes to shit like this find true loves kiss is it cuz cupid missed/When will I just cease to exist I’m sick of doing this, not just the rap/But all of the rest of this crap it’s so easy for me to lay down a track/And I’m tired of breaking my back from bending over backwards for this cat/Shit, I’ve had nights like this but somehow this is different/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/ I can’t handle them Endless Nights/Nah/

Fuck you bitch why do you deserve to be happy/While I sit back and cry when I lay down at night/While I have to hear the alarm that says it’s time to fight/For my life when I write cuz people get offended by my message/I’m a 14 year old defendant, man fuck this bitch/What gives her the right to judge my life, I loved that bitch/Why did I love that bitch why did a give a shit when/She aint let me fuck her clit didn’t even let me kiss her lips/She aint give a fuck about me she aint love me/She’s fucked up now she pushed me, hit me with some bull shit/She gone full Mitt Romney on me/She aint give a fuck about the poor/Fuck that whore I wanna see her lying dead on the floor/ She aint deserve to be alive no more/She fucked me over I guess she’s not a four leaf clover/I even let her lean on me fuck it I wanna see her dead body/

If I say fuck you to the teacher would I get in troubler If I fucked a girl then does that mean I love her/If I say fuck you to my mom does that mean that she’s not my mother/ If I say fuck you to the other, me in the mirror while I stutter/A shitty ass verse while I get ready for the cutter/Trying to make some butter I’m a blood sucker a mother fucker I’ve never felt any pain “What hurt”/I’m tired of the bull shit I got a white stain on my blood shirt/She say she no longer love me “Fuck her” she was all the clutter, in my mind/I was kind I thought she was one of a kind more than just fine but not mine/ Maybe if I would have got there on time I loved you sublime/They say love is blind, is that why I never see you around town/Or even the fucking hallway we used to talk all day/You where the ray of sunshine in my face my only friend on MySpace/Or Facebook the only one I ever thought might stay I thought that you loved me/I thought that we could have been something not just a relationship for fucking/I’m not the type of guy that just wants you to start sucking no just loving/But then why you got to go and pick someone else “Huh”/I finally got up the courage and told you that I liked you/ I just want you. Be mine, Be Mine!, BE MINE!/ Her: You’re a fucking psycho what the fuck are you even saying!? I don’t want you! Me: I Know Her: No you clearly don’t, just why the fuck do you think I even think I like you!? Me: You said that you did Her: I was just being nice you creepy ass psycho fuck! Quit saying that it’s not true I’m not crazy I just really like you/I just really want you, I know that there’s nobody else you belong too/You like me don’t you, you know it’s true, don’t you - yeah I’m sure /That we can both be mature about our “Human Nature”/Come on girl you’re the cure, to my sadness and my madness/ I’ve had this happen so many times I’m tired of it all/I just want someone to be able to catch me when I fall/Or help me walk when I have to crawl but women like always have the Gaul/To just let me alone and stall, me is it cuz I’m not tall or is it because I don’t ball/Why don’t you like me? You think I’m ugly don’t you/ (No) Bullshit bitch don’t fucking lie to me!/Because that’s all you ever do is fucking lie to me/You’re the only one I thought would ever like me/You’re the only one who was ever nice to me/What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why are you so fucked up!/Huh? Do you really think I’m that dumb!?(Josh are you drunk?) Yeah/ So what (Please don’t do anything you’re going to regret) REGRET!?/Is that really what you just said!?/ Her: Josh this isn’t you don’t do this Me: You don’t fucking know me bitch! You don’t what the fuck I’m capable of! Her: Josh please if you leave now then I’ll just forget that this mess ever happened OK. Me: NO! I’m about to do what I’m about to do! You can’t fucking stop me! You’re gonna finally hear out this time! Does this look like a big fucking joke!? Huh! does it !?/You better not fucking answer it Bitch shit I fucking hate you/No I don’t I love you (I Love You Too) Shut the fuck up!/What do you I’m fucking dumb!? Fucking slut/You fucked every single guy in this school except me what’s wrong with me!?/All you is, is a fucking drama queen I’m tired of your shit/Why do you always cry to me about guys who ditch-ed you/I’m fucking finished - with you, you don’t fucking care about me/No one does no one ever loves Josh shit/If I got lost no one would look bitch, you’re a fucking crook/You stole my life I cried over you for so long/It was so wrong and I don’t wanna go on/Living in this world without you/(Josh what the fuck are you doing!?) you were supposed to love me/(I Do) Quit fucking lying look at me I’m fucking crying/Over you who now says that she loves me out of the fucking blue/FUCK YOU! ( Josh if you put the gun down we can solve this like mature people please!)BANG! Me: What the fuck did I just do!? WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY FUCKING WHY!? FUCK!? FUCK!? FUCK!?

This all happened it was kind of like magic/They stuck me in this snobby ass school and told me to pass it/Then they called me a faggot just another fat kid/Like he has no reason to live we mine as well gas him/Shit they can chase him but they can never catch him/I’m too fast for them, I’ve got too much class for them/Picked on bullied and crunched it’s a must well that’s what/They say there’s no way its right to call a straight kid gay/I just need some space just in case I snap and kill everyone in the place, /Why do I keep saying that I’m not even stating facts it’s all just a trap/A coy I deploy onto the world and the people I be playing like they toys/Decoys with a deep voice, all of the shit that I’ve spitted/All of the words that I’ve written these pieces of the puzzle be missing/Some people love and they listen some people hate and be dissing/And there’ll all fishing for reasons to start bitching/I’m still here in the kitchen washing dishes/Fuck granting anybody’s wishes /This is about me not you. ya’ll really like that don’t you pulling shit that pisses/Me off ya’ll say anything ya’ll can think of to make me stop/But ya’ll aint getting to me like that man naw/Because I still have some deep dark secrets that I need to say ya know what I mean/ I’m disappearing deteriorating I’m debating on whether or not/I should keep making, music cuz nobody is caring about the raps I be baking/I’m breaking up inside I’m just one guy 15 years old faking/A smile when someone says my songs suck hating on what I’m creating/I work hard every day and its degrading when I’m stuck stalled/In one spot in this rap shit for like 180 days it’s like maybe/I suck at rapping maybe I should start skating like Lil Wayne/Maybe I should start dressing like a rapper wearing 2 plastic chains with gold plating/ I’m not raking in any dough and my ratings are low/And I’ve never been told that I can be anything anyways/But this is the one thing that I’ve stuck to for more than 5 weeks/And I’m weak cuz I’m not pleasing anybody’s ear drums I feel dumb/ Is this all a mistake is it not my fate at all to be great/If I announced today that I quit music would anybody say/“Hey why you gonna do that just come on stay and make/More music I know you can do it I believe in you”/The answers no and that’s the God awful truth/People are more likely to saying “God damn I wish that, that bitch/Would throw himself off of a bridge”/Yeah nobody cares about this piece of shit/They’d rather see me go away and die in a ditch/Suck a dick fuck you all you can all get fucked/Yeah bend over and let me bust my best nut/ Yeah I don’t what but I don’t need a fucking fan/ I’ll still record music listen to it by myself and be my own Stan/Shit it’s like nothing even changed cuz/Everyone’s trying to gain the same fame I’m trying to obtain in the game/Smoking Mary Jane and I’ll take the blame for the pain that driving them insane/And it’s the same thing that links me to the chain/The same reason that I’m huffing paint killing all the cells in my brain/It would seem like I’m just a stain on the world of today/I drown my sorrows in the flame and the blade that digs into my veins/While I’m sitting in the rain writing words onto a page/ I’m out in the open yet locked in a cage since a young age/Parents a little more than minimum wage spending it all on drugs and drank/Rekindle old flames get back onto that old train back into old claims/Even with all the guns aimed right at me with a million bullets contained/I don’t like this drama I’m untrained while the sky is cloudy/This is the type of shit you would have ever got out of me/But I guess you just did and that is my reality/

I can still remember your face the last thing that I saw you wear/The way you had your hair and how all the other guys would stare/You had that confident look and you had on that pretty dress/Shit it was one for the books god damn especially your legs/And everything you said you where the perfect girl/It was the perfect world, or so it seems, you were so pretty I wanted to hurl/The only thing that could keep me clean/ You know it’s been a while since I’ve seen your face/You know it’s been a while since we’ve touched base/You know it’s been a while and I can’t wait to see you again/It’s been a while and I can still remember that last thing you said/ I had an awesome dream about you and me the other night/We shared a pizza and Pepsi I flipped and we got into a fight/I hit you we made we made love we did drugs until daylight/I woke up cried and cut my wrists a little bit let bleed and took shit/ I feel like token a spliff but I can’t not cuz of just one bitch/I just want to remember, your Abercrombie & Fitch/I just want to remember, how your custom jeans fit/I don’t want to remember, how your attitude flipped/I don’t want to remember, how your problem never got fixed/Your problem was never solved instead it got blocked/From everyone else’s know-ledge, every night drunken and drugged/By every guy you got fucked what you had from them was the opposite of love/You got raped beat damaged and scuffed/Now all I see her do Is cry and listen emo punk rock stuff/And all I want to do is love yah put no one high above yah/I want to put you on top of a pedestal on a whole other level/And I’ve seen her look up at the stars and play songs on that guitar/Smelling like a bar, but see I can’t judge if that’s what you need then let if take you far/ And It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone with the same amount of sadness/It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone write it all down trying to rise above that ashes/And if it’s all the same to you/I’d like to be the one that changes your tune/ And it’s been a couple of years since I met someone like you/Who is never a liar and I could all ways tell the truth to you/Someone not another shade of grey but of another shade of blue/Someone who actually have a clue/How people act and what they really do/The type of girl that if you wanted to fly you flew/I could never leave you I want us to be stuck like glue/In a sugar land sweet but that point is mute/No need to say much else but one last message for you/ And It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone with the same amount of sadness/It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone write it all down trying to rise above that ashes/And if it’s all the same to you/I’d like to be the one that changes your tune/

Whoa what the fuck did I just say/ Yo sorry girl I have to go I’ll see you another day/Oh it’s Friday we gonna have to wait till Monday/ So I walked away cuz imma have to figure out what to do this Sunday and Saturday/Yeah this aint no party song this weekend it’s not going on like Donkey Kong/That was just a way to kick start my song/And it won’t be long till the story starts do follow along/Saturday’s supposed to be the day that I sleep in/ But nah I woke up at 6 in a cold sweat felling like I just went off the deep end/And I can’t pretend that I didn’t just have the dream I just had/Or at least I thought I had did I really just say what I said/If I did then I don’t wanna ever see that girl again/I don’t even know where I got the balls to let that happen/God damn it fuck and she just got a boyfriend/Why the fuck did I do that now I’m gonna get my ass beat/The dudes in fucking ROTC/Mondays gonna suck I can already tell and I aint even gonna get out of bed/ It’s the fucking weekend/Life’s supposed to be easy/It’s the fucking weekend/My heart and my wrist aren’t supposed to be bleeding/ Its Saturday I’m supposed to be getting homework done for the next day/Maybe it won’t be so bad maybe the dude will be cool/Yeah right there’s a better chance of Krillin winning a duel/Unpredictable and crazy that’s my tag team duo/I’ll do anything if it feels right at the time/I’ll say anything as long as it rhymes/Shit I just wanna live my life in her eyes/I’ve written so many lines about how I saw her cry/And about how I cut my wrists and lie/Say how I fell off a slide not I feel a pain in my side/I spend so many nights by myself sitting by the tide/Thinking about the people who’ve died or/The people that left me to hide from the problems inside/I open my eyes wide. Shit at least I tried/ It’s the fucking weekend/Life’s supposed to be easy/It’s the fucking weekend/My heart and my wrist aren’t supposed to be bleeding/ I just got a text from her/Saying that she wants me to come to the boardwalk/ With her and her boyfriend/Just when I thought I was doing/Something I shouldn’t my mom says that I got a letter from my old friend Lucy/

Dear Lucy, how have you been doing? I’m glad you remembered me/Anywise I’ve been doing fine thanks for asking, yeah I’m still rapping/Blasting rap music down a busy street thinking about this new girl I met/She’s so sweet she doesn’t really know I exist but she’s still the girl I’m trying to get/Ha-ha you know what I mean and she’s got a boyfriend but that’s not something I’m too worried about/Oh and the other night I had a dream it was about me and her/ We had barley said a word it was weird I did something I didn’t wanna do I fucked her/Yeah-yeah you know what I mean it’s not that I don’t want to it’s that I’d be afraid to/It’s not that I’m scared I’m just aware of the dangers that lye there I don’t want to/ Not I unless I love you and I love her but as a person I’m not ready to fuck/ And it would be my luck that I would fall in love with a slut a girl they call a whore/ They say she fucked every guy in our grade but I still need to get to know her more/My love for her is coming out of my pores I just want to know if there is anything in store/ I still want to know if she’s just going to let me hit the floor or lift me up to the lord/God if he does exist in the sky I really hope he does and it’s not that hard to know why/I never felt this way in my life Lucy I swear I hope it happens this time/The way I fell for this girl is something special there was a flutter in my stomach and a break in my heart the day I met her/She’s the most beautiful girl in the world but I already said she has a boyfriend right/It’s funny I was going to go with them the park tonight but I stayed in to write/This call-er hoping it would make me feel better and I’m still hoping it might/ But right now I’m crying not because of this girl but because I’m all bark and no bite/ I talk all this crap but I’ve already lost this fight because she already has a guy/And she seems so happy with him and I really want to go and get high/But I won’t because I still remember the promise that I made to you/I wouldn’t do that shit anymore trust me please I’m telling the truth/ I really want to see you again I need someone to talk to all this shit is killing me inside/ This ride is crazy this all might start to get hazy cuz lately/ I’ve been thinking these dark thoughts those two are my friends/ And I know what I have but I want what they got/

I know what I have, but I want what they got/I want what they got, I want what they got/ I know what I have but I want what they got/ I man I’m not saying I’m the jealous type, but/When she’s with that other guy that’s that shit I don’t like/But that aint no reason for me to want to die, is it/That really aint no reason for me to cry, is it? /That really aint no reason for me to text her every night actin like it’s my business/Smiley face kisses, I’m on my way bitches/ I know what I have, but I want what they got/I want what they got, I want what they got/ I know what I have but I want what they got/ I mean I hate the way she lies I hate is when she cries/The way she pouts around with tears in her eyes/And I really wanna believe in love but it’s starting to seem like a lie/I love her so much that I’m barely getting by/It should be time to say goodbye cuz I won’t win this fight/No matter how hard I try it’s just another day of my life/ I know what I have, but I want what they got/I want what they got, I want what they got/ I know what I have but I want what they got/ Oh please, oh please I plead/For once would you listen to me/One time is all I need/Or are you just gonna let my heart bleed / I know it’s hard to say how you really feel/There’s always so much pressure and you might get ridiculed/Because when you love someone like this it’s hard to say how you really feel/And when you see them with that other guy you wanna kill/No? Maybe that’s just me I would never act upon it though/At least I hope so, no I know so, right now I feel like a hobo/Cuz this girl’s so dope she always on my mind I forget how to use the soap/My love is, all I got and/ I know what I have, but I want what they got/I want what they got, I want what they got/ I know what I have but I want what they got/

I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/Your Number 3/ I want what you got but I don’t want him in the picture/Your mister, mister I have a sinister plot I blister/My heart when I see that he had kissed her/I just want her to be mine; I think it’s real this time/This feeling I have inside fuck that guy/I hate being in line for her love I push and shove/But instead got shelved for somebody else I felt/Still feel feeling for her even though I heard what/ She said to her friends about me why me/Can’t she see that I bleed cant she care that/ I wear my hair and cloths a certain way to cover my face/I don’t just trace these lines on my arms they aren’t just drawn on/I’ve gone my whole life without feeling love/I’ve cut so much I don’t bleed blood, I bleed mud/I need some-thing I don’t know what thing I scream/Out loud sometimes I just wanna die no lie/ At night I think I might try and end my life/I cry into my pillow I’m s silhouette of what I once was/My love for you for you makes me feel like I can never trust anyone anymore this whore I have animosity for/ I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/Your Number 3/ I’m there for her when she needs help/But when I need help nope back to the shelf/ Elf I melt right through my belt a puddle/A shell of my former self because I fell/Into hell with her and I’m left here to burn/Not it’s your turn I hate you disgraceful/ Actions ungrateful of my kindness fine bitch/How would you like it if I finally slit my wrist/ Fall blind less into darkness heartless you took it/Ripped it from my chest I can’t rest my eyes/Without an image of you appearing in the light/What the fuck are you to me, I can’t sleep/Without thinking about you I weep/I creep myself downstairs and cut myself in the night air/I’m not a fighter no matter how much I like her/I’m just a pussy with no balls no matter how mad I am when she calls/I have a smile on my face I’m a disgrace to men all over the place/Why can’t I learn to hate you happily? Instead of stacking my reasons up inside/I hide and you’re the reason why/ I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/Your Number 3/ I don’t think you understand what you do to me/On a daily basis my hearts aching I’m wasted/ On the inside I’m shaking when you walk by/The whole time you’ve known my feelings you just walk by/All my life it’s been that way no one would stay/Everyone’s against me in some way all day/I’m cautious who I talk too I’m not gonna get burnt man no way/But with you it’s different I couldn’t not talk to you/Now all I do is think about you it’s true/What else can I do you got a boyfriend he’s strong/And he’s my friend and don’t get me wrong I send/ My best wishes to you two but I do really want things/To go my way or the highway at night I lie awake/ And think about how fake and a waste of time this whole thing is/ It’s all just a wish a glimmer of hope I hope/I can get through this road then a message to my phone/It’s from her she say (Can you come to the beach?)/I say yeah I’ll meet you there I needed some air any ways/ I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/I don’t want to be/Your Number 3/

I’ve been singing about this bitch for about a year now/And I still aint finished writing our story down/And as soon as I fucking say I’m done with this shit it comes right back around/It’s like my whole life revolves around this damn girl/Right now my world it spins and twirls around this damn girl/ And I really have no fucking clue how to act right now/I’m mentally unstable or at least that’s how I feel right now/I want to be happy with her but I don’t believe in fairy tales/Nah not now not since that fucking fairy sailed/ Away there’s no way I can believe in stupid sayings my life derailed/And I know I got my issues why you think I fucking flow/ And my life is just me going through the motions but I aint ever seen this before/And I really like this feeling I really wanna feel it some more/This bitch just said she like me I think that I’m about to explode/ I’ve been saying this whole time that I want her to be my love/I don’t really know why just because/ I like the way she looks or how she acts or how she cooks/And right now I really don’t know what to say/ Me: I don’t know what to say Her: Say you like me back Me: I do I just…. Don’t know what to do Her: Just come with me Me: No So I bolt out the door till I hit the road/Jolt left turn right then I broke for straight/ Opened my door ran to my bed and then I said/ Beautiful Situations, Beautiful Situations/I feel like I’m in the Matrix, It feels just like the Matrix/I’ve had my past few months wasted/I’m never getting that back I feel hatred/ But not to her or even to him but to myself because my friend/ I’m not the same person that I once was/I’ve changed drastically in the past few months/I fell in love but for what she says she likes me back but/I can tell that she don’t I could tell that she wasn’t/I don’t wanna be her rebound no I wanna be her first/Better get ready that fucking hearse cuz there’s no way I could feel any worse/And I don’t know the proper way to vent my pain/The way I’ve been treated has got me going insane/And that line I’ve used so much it’s like my cliché/ But I can’t bite my check or my gum chicle/ Me: Oh god, what the fuck do I do!? Me: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Me: Shit, why, why, why!? Me: No, no, no, no, no… Me: No! Why… Wait maybe I’m over reacting/ Maybe being a rebound wouldn’t be that bad/ Am I wrong for being this sad/I feel like it’s my fault was I not good enough before/Back when I talked to Lucy Ford or choose this door/By that which I fell in love with this whore/ I can see now that everybody else wasn’t lying/Maybe I was a fool for even trying/Maybe I was a fool to start crying/Letting my eyes sting when I start to sing or when I dream/Myself out of my self-doubt I took the left route/ I fought my best bouts I really did all that I could/And all I should why was it not good enough/In the end I can’t pretend that I felt nothing/ I felt everything fucking let me set myself up/Let me sharpen this blade up/Cuz right now I give no fucks/How this affects anyone else/

Door Open! How did you like the story about myself and the girl that I loved/The girl I loved do much and put her way high above/The rest of the hoes at the stop for the bus/That one girl I thought that I could trust but/I guess that for us it was never meant to be/You see, lust is a powerful chemical substance/That can cause a man to feel a way that he doesn’t/I wasn’t trying to do something like kill my beloved/Man I fucking flipped out I pulled that shit out/A .9 caliber pistol that I had found/In the hands of a dead man behind the Golden Coral/She was a femme fetal I was just a modest mouse/Trying to live in a house where I didn’t belong sleeping in the couch/And I had found, that any drug or alcohol could fill that hole/Nah man it was that very substance that caused me to lose my will to live and love/Behold though I’m not an activist trying to stop the madness and sadness/Nah man I was just a mad kid trying to find a place in the world that would have him/But apparently aint nobody got time for that shit God damn it/I forgot who I was and got wrapped up in who I’d become/I didn’t wanna change my ways taking one straight to the brain/Was one way I had found to help me get through the day/When seeing your face and hearing your voice wasn’t enough to make me feel ok/I was a slave to the ways of this modern society/All the rappers I ever listened to lied to me/You see it’s so hard to fit in when everyone talk shit to me/Looks down on me turn the whole crowd on me this wheel is turning me/Round and round all the way down now I’m hell bound/We approach a dead end there’s a crack in the ground my death was sound/Well it made a sound actually 2 “Boom, Boom” bullets into me and you/ Brains hit the cement see this is the outcome of everything I detest/See when I was a kid I would have never ever believed this/Would be my fate a shot in the head and a homicide derived from hate/Mommas crying as my body’s carried away in a wooden crate/She’s hoping that I see the heaven’s gate/But I’ll probably end up seeing hells flames/We all make mistakes but mine proved to be permanent/Enemy of the state my life has gone done the drain slipped through my fingertips/At least everyone will notice never not no know how/I was behind the school during Homecoming on the prowl/Trying to love this gal 11 at night up wide awake like an owl/Or a bat a fat son of a bitch with a gat in his back pants/Pocket a tick toking time bomb attached to a rocket waiting to be blasted off/And you were the comet that I was destined to hit/Crash into collide with tears in my eyes I apologize/ You pushed me straight to the edge I just wanted to get this over with/It’s your fault! We won’t get to be older/Grow old you making me a meal/I just told you how I really feel and that’s a door closed/ Door Open! Okay it’s back to me time for me to tell about my story/That you just heard not too long ago I hope you didn’t think it was boring/My story was one of emotion storing not wanting none of it/Sad, happy, mad, jealous, nervous nah man none of it/All that fucking shit push me back to things I aint wanna do/D-R-U,-G-S all that stuff I used to do/Yeah I puffed it, and blew back out it helps drown out the truth/ Makes me feel different and that’s why I meant it when I said it/That I was done for good I made a promise to you Lucy/My old friend who told me how she felt about what I was doing/You where the last straw after what you said I decided to take my mask off/But I still felt lost then I moved away and turned into Jack Frost/The only friends I ever had where gone you and Josh nowhere to be found gosh/I finally got cleansed and got a wash now the people I need the most/Are nowhere to be found y’all let me hit the ground/And break my leg y’all enjoy the sound of me being in pain/It’s insane but y’all don’t understand when everything is crumbling around you/ And then it’s this one girl who had found you and she leads you to believe she felt you/Swept you off your feet man it’s so crazy/Cuz you aint felt nothing like this around here lately /Man no lie this the type of girl that you would want to have your baby/She then acted like she aint wanna roll with me, there’s a gaping hole in me/ And I tried to continue life but my brain kept showing me/Visions of you and me alone together in the dark holding/Hand but in my heart I knew that there was never no chance/Nah man cuz I’m not the one with the bands nah man I’m the one with the Wal-Mart pants/Man I hate my life, I thought without drugs I would always be in the lights/Even after she said that she liked me, I knew she could never handle a dude like me/And the real sad part is that I still don’t think that she really like me/And the darker half of me took over and said that she could bite me/In the end there was no more fighting/The real feelings that I had bottled up inside of me/And I feel really bad cuz I really wanted to share your pain/You were just a Glad Rag Doll shoved around and played/With and I know you hate it when I tell your story like this/ And put you on blast and shit but the confidence you’re lacking it/So I got to act on it and take it upon myself/To tell the story that you’re too afraid to tell/It seems now that both our stories are cut short/Me because I really am no more/You because I can no longer write/Down in this diary about everyday life/That I also recorded in the hopes that you might/Listen to it despite you feelings because in the end that was my mission/And I’m really sad if you offended by all the things that I’ve mentioned/ That was never my intention I hope you know/I was just trying to get through/All the bumps in the road and that’s another door closed/ Door Open! Yo, I’d like to start my verse by saying that I was just playing/None of this really happened it’s all shit that I imagined/It was all stuff that I thought up in my head and then said/So let’s get this straight no one is dead/With a fatal gunshot wound into the headAnd nobody slit his wrist because he never got a kiss/And even if he did you shouldn’t wine about it like a little bitch/Ya dig? And quit asking cuz I won’t ever care if the mainstream goes me/If it don’t then imma still be telling my stories, Till I Collapse/And blow me if you don’t like my raps cuz how much work you put in/You don’t do shit! I work all day and all you do is stay in your room jerking/ Yourself off to videos of some damn girl twerking/Her fat ass off you know what fuck it keep hating/On what I’m making you’re gonna find me lurking circling/Your house and when you’re in the shower I’m gonna open the curtain/And shoot you in the knee cap so I know that for the rest of your life you’ll be hurting/And I know it sounds like I’m coming off angry/Well it’s cuz I am because everybody’s hating on me/ Ranking below people who couldn’t even rhyme show and slow/Man fuck that whack shit I’m gonna end up being a stow away/Cuz no one can look me in the face and say I’m gonna be great with a straight face/Punk ass bitch stay the fuck away from mw cuz I’m writing in haste/A diss to knock you straight off of the place that you claim/I’ll take a shit on your thorn and then I’ll go home/You Blazing homo with no skill or will/All that you got is the built and you really thinking that you real/And then there’s you the wanna be the trying to be/Hopsin do you really think people are feeling shit come on son/You, your flows dumb you suck ayyo you wanna step now huh!?/Ayyo let me calm down before I make an ass outta myself/But shit that’s just how I felt sorry I’ve had anger issues since the first time daddy beat me with a belt/And music is the only way I feel I could have dealt/With the anger building up because of the disses they pelt/Me with I need to sit down/ Take a drink of water and think of/What to talk about next to fill up these 12 bars/ Ok well first off I would like to say that anything to do with love I really felt/My story and that are the only things that are real/And you know how the story goes for a ghost/A lachrymose the side I’ve been trying to show/Since the first time I started to flow/Because most had no idea I was like this on my own/Yeah when I’m by myself my emotions are blown/Way out of proportion I guess that I just wanted you to know/Who I really am not much of a man/Whenever it started to get messy I ran/So this one goes out to someone I really hope is my fan/Yeah you a girl named Drew, another door closed whew/